It’s the 38%

Communication is tricky. Down dog can be a command or a yoga position, and the words Adho Mukha Shvanasana can make you feel like you’re one step away from enlightenment or lost in a foreign country. Meaning is so much more than that first definition in the dictionary. And some people are easier to communicate with than others. It’s the 38%.

I’ll explain. I read somewhere that communication is 55% body language, 38% tone and 7% what’s actually been said. Well, there’s someone—let’s call this person Type A—whose 38% makes me a little less zen and a tad more homicidal. Type A is not consistent, of course. That would make things predictable and simpler to manage. Instead the world can enjoy this person’s seemingly arbitrary moods. And you know what’s good for that? An ice pick. But that’s wrong. And it’s probably chakra clogging or something. So instead, I’m upping my mat time.

It can’t just be more home yoga time, though. It’s self-intervention time. Between the subtle rage Type A inspires and the veritable banquet I’ve been enjoying since Thanksgiving (we do Epiphany, so seriously, my last no-one-should-eat-like-this-every-day meal was on Friday), it’s back to the studio with my angry tubby self. Hold the screw-the-media objections. I’m not fat-shaming myself. It’s OK, my darling positive body image friends, I still love all of me. I just wish I could fit more than just most of me in my jeans.

Anyway, I joined a place and went to my first studio class since early November. It felt so good. The twist were extra squishy, but stretching felt fantastic and I still have killer balance, so yay. It’s a small class with a calm teacher—I personally hate the whole yoga meets boot camp concept, especially on a Monday. Again, it’s the 38%. Can’t relax with a pushy loud instructor. This class is a perfect start to the week. It’s only an hour and has just the right balance of chill and challenge. The shavasana at the end could stand to be a bit more than 2 minutes, but everything else works well for me.

Tomorrow I’m checking out mat Pilates. Because somehow I will both get zen (despite the 38%) and back into my jeans, damn it! Wish me luck.

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