This is the year of the optimism challenge in that the challenge is to find the silver lining and the sparkle of hope in a sea of anger and bad news. Much of that news gives us legitimate cause to be unhappy — raging fires, a crazy virus, hurricanes, family concerns, etc. And some of it is inertia.
After a few days of stress and moments of pessimism, we can get on a roll. It’s easy to just lose interest in daily life, start feeling like crap, and decide none of it is worth it.
I had that day today. And it’s funny because to anyone observing me, it looked like everything was fine. I was working away, pausing for nice warm meals, taking meetings, and generally chugging along.
Secretly though, I was having arguments in my head (one has been going on for several days), scolding myself for getting mentally distracted, making alternate plans for things I’d rather not do, and questioning half my life choices, all the while running budgets for imaginary trips to places far far away.
My husband quietly noticed and late in the evening, he pulled me aside. His words were something along the lines of seeing me slowly loose my delight in things throughout the day and become somber. He’s exactly right.
No, I don’t have a solution just now, but he drew me a bubble bath, poured water on my back for a while, and talked to me for a few minutes until I was able to relax.
All is not fine just yet, but I do feel better having taken steps to change the day, talk it out, and wash it off. Now for a bit of reading and let’s let this day finally end so I can start anew tomorrow.